Change is inevitable. I can’t count how many versions of myself I’ve been over the last ten years. And I’m sure that’s a familiar feeling for many of us. But here’s the problem; w
And I get it. I really do. Change can be scary. Not being able to predict and have control over what happens in our lives can be a terrifying prospect to even think about, let alone act upon.
But I learned a secret many years ago. What is it?
That change, and unpredictability and discomfort… is a good thing.
Now I know what you’re thinking. How can discomfort, feeling out of control, and facing the absolute unknown, be a good thing?
I wrote a post for SheOwnsIt last month, where I discussed some misconceptions about entrepreneurship. I also touched on some good advice I’ve received in the past. One of the most amazing and unforgettable pieces of advice I’ve ever received was from Aimee Boglio, owner of All Senses Wellness Center. And I’m paraphrasing here, but it went a little something like this…
“We are hardwired to experience fear. We are conditioned by the generations before us to avoid it. You will never acheive your true calling in life unless you embrace change, and begin to take action NOW.”
This was extremely difficult to process at first. Like many others, I held on to my faults, my mistakes, my imperfections, and all the things I didn’t have or I couldn’t do.
These negative thought patterns made me sick, stressed, exhausted, and on the edge of giving up completely. I realized I had been living in autopilot; going through the days just because it was what I was supposed to do. I dealt with a job I hated, with a boss who was verbally and physically abusive, because I made a lot of money. Stayed in a college program I wasn’t interested in because I felt obligated. Dealt with a toxic relationship for far too long because… well, I was afraid of change.
I had settled into a predictable, miserable, boring, safe excuse for a life.
Then something happened. I let it go.
And when I say I let it go, I mean all of it. I quit my job, left my relationship, took a break from school, moved to a different city, and just let everything go. Sure, I was a hermit for a while. I mostly stayed inside for the first couple of months. But I used this time to educate myself and to meet and nurture me. And I was surprised at who I was, versus who I once thought I was.
I finally really liked myself.
Once I met this person, I realized that I really enjoy her company. I enjoy the way she thinks and the way she connects with the world. I am confident and sure of myself. So, I started a business. (With no money and no one to help!) I started going for what I wanted, instead of what I felt I had to. I did it on my own. For me. Then I met the most special person in the world, and I got to experience real love for the first time.
I never would have gotten the chance to experience any of this, if I hadn’t first embraced change and faced fear. So, I let go of the need to control the world around me, I let myself be okay with isolation and discomfort. I got rid of the things that tied me to the negative situations in my past.
I let the Universe guide me; eyes closed and arms open.
Sure, I lost friends along the way. They didn’t like the fact that I was changing. They wanted ‘the old me’. Because it was what they were used to, and comfortable with. That job sure as Hell would never take me back (even though they couldn’t pay me to ask! No pun intended!) and maybe I burnt some bridges along the way. But in the end, I did the best thing for myself.
Change happens when you step out of your comfort zone.
So, stop believing the lie that you can’t do something. Because you can; you are good enough. You’re creative enough, intelligent enough, driven enough, and strong enough. You. Are. Enough. And don’t let anyone tell you any differently.
Take the leap. Leave that crappy job. Move to a city you’ve always wanted to live in. Start that business, or go to that school. The worst thing that can happen is that you realize what you really want and love, and who you are. Outside of all the boundaries and restrictions you’ve set for yourself.
Change, no matter how unpredictable it may seem, or how uncomfortable it may feel, is a good thing. Change is a lesson, and an opportunity to better yourself and your future. So, embrace it. It might be the best decision you ever make for yourself.